Tragedy of wanderer

Scribbling:

Tragedy of wanderer:

“What better way to destroy yourself than to find a sense of pleasure in watching yourself destroy yourself, probably with so much of ‘yourself’ that the destruction is rather a cold follow-up routine than being a surprise or otherwise. The masochistic urge is rather appealing and no wonder if it succeeds often and without being tagged as grey as the sadistic counterpart, perhaps as it is about a mere solitary confinement, but is it? Probably turning away from it all was starting point or maybe it was just when nothing else seemed to make sense, or possibly it was just meant to be destroyed, an overwhelmed sense of self drenched in reason of why and why not, bogging down to weight of what-ifs while it could be nothing more than a mere narcissistic urge to narrate it all in a certain cosmetic language but what does it matter for it never makes any sense once you settle down to take a look of reason and find it all being a heap of mess, confused of its own identity, questioning its own existence. Being vulnerable is never meant to be an option and yet he came to believe he was the one who was the author of the script, or so said the narrative that ended on a rather familiar way. It all follows down the same path, gravity of impulse is too strong to carry the glittering picture of survival beyond the boundary of solitary night, or could it be just the loyalty of being faithful to one’s agony. Berkeley said, ‘it was all just mental and nothing existed physically’, Some moment when one wishes it to be true more than anything else. Alas!”