Tragedy of Wanderer

Scribbling:

Tragedy of Wanderer:

“Being helpless in any situation is wrecking but not as much as being unable to control one’s body and mind. I feel it in my nerves; I feel being drowned in the rush of blood through my veins, as if being thunderstruck through my randomly accelerated heartbeats; Sweating as an animal, moaning as if being fucked hard, trying to breath as heavy as possible.

I cannot think of anything but what medicines I must take, what food I should eat and I should not, should I go to loo or should I wash myself again, was it Paracetamol or was it tinidazole or just aspirin? Suddenly I find wondering at that moment what happened to all my wise perceptions and thoughts, why cannot I think of philosophy that moment. But, I even act to appear calm while looking in the mirror; it feels worse seeing oneself in such situation, no?

At first I pity myself in such state, I feel vulnerable; but then I caress it, probably I am vulnerable just like a soap bubble; about to burst any moment and be gone then why to pretend I am not.”